Listen and avoid judging others
Daily Scripture
James 1:19-22, 4:11-12
James 1
19 Know this, my dear brothers and sisters: everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to grow angry. 20 This is because an angry person doesn’t produce God’s righteousness. 21 Therefore, with humility, set aside all moral filth and the growth of wickedness, and welcome the word planted deep inside you—the very word that is able to save you.
22 You must be doers of the word and not only hearers who mislead themselves.
James 4
11 Brothers and sisters, don’t say evil things about each other. Whoever insults or criticizes a brother or sister insults and criticizes the Law. If you find fault with the Law, you are not a doer of the Law but a judge over it. 12 There is only one lawgiver and judge, and he is able to save and to destroy. But you who judge your neighbor, who are you?
Daily Reflection & Prayer
Author Stephen Covey said, “The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply.” * That’s not a recent issue, nor one limited to politics. Romans, Jews and Samaritans blamed each other for conflict without trying to understand, and we still do today. But James called Christ-followers to “be quick to listen.” He asked, bluntly, “You who judge your neighbor, who are you?” Only God (not us), he said, “is able to save and to destroy.”
- It’s a fact: political foes called Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln and Theodore Roosevelt (3/4 of Mount Rushmore!) bad people who’d wreck America. Pastor Hamilton asked, “Does the Lord give us an exemption from practicing the Scriptures when it comes to our political leaders… and others with whom we disagree?… This does not mean we are not to practice discernment, nor… remain silent in the face of wrongdoing. Yet we can make known our disagreements with others… in love and with respect for the other.” ** Can you disagree in loving, civil ways? Why or why not?
- When you have strongly negative thoughts about a candidate (or elected winner), do you ever look inward and ask, “Have I listened to understand? What in me feels threatened or frightened by this person?” James 4:11-12 warned against speaking ill of others or judging them. God alone is the ultimate Judge. Our role is to show love, not judgment. How can you resist the urge to judge and instead show love and encouragement in your interactions this week?
Prayer
Lord of life, help me tame my tongue and the inner insecurities that so often set my tongue off. Help me to respond to the grace you give me by living out the Golden Rule ever more fully. Amen.
GPS Insights
Jaime Kernaghan
Jaime Kernaghan serves as the Small Group Program Director at Resurrection Leawood. She previously worked as Praise & Worship Coordinator with Resurrection Kids. Jaime has an undergraduate degree from the University of Kansas in Sociology, with a minor in Psychology, and an M.S. Degree from Friends University; she is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. Jaime is passionate about her work in connecting people. Outside work she enjoys time with family, friends and her foster son, as well as her two dogs, and her cat-dog. Jaime loves yoga, reading, writing, hammocking and time at the lake.
When considering ways in which we show up in our own lives around how we treat others, it can be helpful to ask ourselves if we are able to slow down. Do we listen to respond, or to understand? Do we give grace, or do we judge? Do we sit in our anger, or do we express it in a healthy way, and move forward?
Thinking about what role anger plays in our interactions with others, and if we allow it to visit, or to move in permanently, can be an important distinction in how it plays out in our relationships. According to Brene’ Brown, “Sometimes owning our pain and bearing witness to struggle means getting angry. When we deny ourselves the right to be angry, we deny our pain.” The important piece is what we do with our anger. When we are able to use it to ignite change, and provide grace and allow space, is when we can take anger, seek out the potential emotions behind it (grief, shame, regret), and begin to heal, together.
James 1:22 says, “You must be doers of the word and not only hearers who mislead themselves.” Taking what we learn, and allowing ourselves to put it into practice, and make space for growth, is the ultimate doing. When is the last time you slowed down, listened, truly listened, and then spoke? My answer is not often enough. The good news is, we can continue to do better. I hope you’ll join me.
© 2024 Resurrection: A United Methodist Church. All Rights Reserved.
Scripture quotations are taken from The Common English Bible ©2011. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
References
* In an article titled “Active Listening Skills” by Dianne Grande, Ph.D. found at https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-it-together/202006/active-listening-skills. The whole article is clear, practical and worth reviewing.
** Hamilton, Adam, Seeing Gray in a World of Black and White (p. 22). Abingdon Press. Kindle Edition.
