Servant Leadership: Greater Than Any Human Title

A few years ago, I bought a Fitbit. I was trying to get more exercise, and having a daily reminder helped me. I got a lot of steps in—until the band on my Fitbit broke. Once that was off my wrist, every time I looked at my walking shoes, I just wondered what the point was when I wouldn’t get credit for my steps.

I do that everywhere. At work, I changed the job title in my email signature to “Software Engineer/Musician,” because what’s the point of playing an instrument if no one knows about it? In high school, I wore Christian T-shirts all the time, because what’s the point of going to church if no one knows about it? Pop culture catered to that. For us Millennials growing up, we could decide what kind of person we wanted to be, then walk into Hot Topic and buy a full wardrobe to tell people about it.

I require constant validation. I get sad when my snarky political comments on Reddit don’t get upvoted. Sometimes, I ask ChatGPT interesting questions so it will tell me I’m smart. Even now, I’m desperately hoping you like my GPS post. I’m trying extra hard to appear humble—everyone likes humble. If I post a funny enough joke in Slack, maybe my coworkers will finally like me.

When Jesus calls out the Pharisees for wearing extra-wide prayer bands, I have to ask whether the Christian T-shirts I used to wear were really conversation starters or just so people would think more highly of me. I have to ask whether I would say what I say and do what I do if no one ever knew about it. And if I’m honest? I worry that it might be like the time I stopped wearing my Fitbit.

Other people are not a good measure of sincerity—sincerity can be faked. I have to constantly monitor my actions and thoughts to see if what I’m doing is real or just so others will think I’m a good person. There’s no easy answer or one-liner I can give you. Being real is harder than seeming real, and it’s something I have to do every day.