Avoid words that can kill

Someone very close to me is gay and may be trans. I know this is a controversial topic at most churches, but this is my story. The rhetoric and politics surrounding gay and especially trans people right now has been horrendous. Daily, I see social media messages calling the LGBTQ community groomers and pedophiles, almost all of them from Christians. It’s gotten to the point that if I find out someone is Christian but I don’t know them yet, I assume my friend will not be safe around them. And when I say unsafe, I’m not talking about harsh words. 22.7% of hate crimes in 2020 were carried out on the basis of gender identity and sexual orientation, totalling 1,376 violent acts. I literally fear for my friend.

I can already hear the rebuttals to the above paragraph. The vast majority of Christians would never commit a hate crime. I know that. Statistically, I know my friend is probably not going to be physically attacked by my Christian friends. But hate doesn’t start with hate crimes. As Jesus alludes in today’s passage, words can be damaging too—not just because they hurt, but because they enable a baseline of hate that empowers systems of injustice and, yes, violent acts.

Dr. Gregory H. Stanton studied hate and genocide and documented 10 stages of genocide:

1. Classification – Separating groups of people to create an “us versus them” mentality
2. Symbolization – Symbols are given to the “other” as a visual representation of their separation
3. Discrimination – The dominant group uses laws, customs, and political power to deny the rights of the minority
4. Dehumanization – The dominant group begins to treat the “others” as less than human, sometimes comparing them to animals or parasites
5. Organization – Plans for violence against the “others” are made and groups are trained
6. Polarization – Propaganda is put in place and socializing between the groups is forbidden
7. Preparation – The plan is set into motion
8. Persecution – The trigger is set
9. Extermination – The trigger is pulled
10. Denial – History is rewritten and evidence is covered up

Now, again, I know we’re nowhere near genocide in America. That’s not the point. My point is that by allowing hateful speech or actions, we’re enabling people and processes that are somewhere on this spectrum. The fact is, I think all of us have a spot somewhere on this list that we’d deem passable. Each of us probably has a group of “others” that we feel we’re fighting against. We probably look for ways to identify these people in public. We might support legislation that singles these people out. We may even go so far as seeing these people as less than human. But you know what? Humanity is dark. It always has been, in Biblical times and today. And today, just like there has always been, there are still people who are OK on this list right up through step 10 because of the hate we allow to fester.

The right place to be on that spectrum is step 0. Even knowing that we will likely never get to the later steps of that process as a society, there are individuals who might carry out their own agendas based on where they feel the threshold is. If you see classification, symbolization, discrimination, or dehumanization going on, whoever’s saying those things is somewhere on this spectrum. There is no room for love on this list, and there’s certainly no room for this list in love.

I don’t mean to be alarmist, but a lot of the discourse I see frequently on social media and in private conversations goes up to dehumanization. Initially, I stayed out of these conversations under the guise of protecting my own mental health or personal relationships. It wasn’t until I saw some of my friends forced off of social media due to threats and daily abuse that I realized that my comfort is far less important than someone else’s humanity. The things we allow and the things we overlook can have a far greater impact than we can initially see, and allowing (or making) even a few hateful comments can be much more destructive than we ever intended.