God’s spirit with Israel’s failed and successful king

When someone asks how you are, is your go-to response “I’m fine”? Interestingly, the adjective “fine” can mean “of high quality,” but it can also mean “thin.” I don’t know about you, but I really don’t want to describe my life as thin. Fine seems to be an easy way to assure someone (and ourselves) that we are okay (not great, but okay) and to put up a facade to protect us from being too open and authentic. The more we do this, the more we may deceive ourselves and continue to live in the darkness that King Saul found.

As I scrolled through my social media feed, it appears that all my friends are “fine.” People are taking trips, spending time with family, eating great food, and cheering for the Chiefs. Life is all good – but maybe it’s not. I know I’m putting the same kinds of social messages out there, but not everything in my life is fine. I’m sometimes exhausted from caring for my family. I get frustrated at work (yes, even a church workplace isn’t perfect). My feelings have been hurt. My faith has even gone through a “luke-warm” period. All real, all not fine.

So what do we do? First, we can start by being more honest in our interactions. If someone asks how you are, it’s okay to let them know how you really are. On the other side of that conversation, don’t ask someone how they are unless you’re willing to listen to them and walk alongside them.

Second, I’m going to propose that oversharing on social media is not the answer. There are some places and situations where we need to protect ourselves and be careful about baring our souls. Social media is one of those places. You may get a lot of praying hand emojis, but what you really need is someone to take your hands and pray with you.

Third, identify those people with whom you can be totally honest and authentic. Pastor Adam talks about the people who will come alongside you and carry you through the dark times. I like to think of them as faith partners. These are the people who I can be completely honest with because they are honest with me. They hold me accountable and call me out when I’m deceiving myself.

If we are going to “live in the light” as the writer of 1 John challenges us, we need to stop deceiving ourselves. Only when we acknowledge and confess the places where we are imperfect and where we have fallen short, can we accept God’s grace and forgiveness and move out of the darkness and into the light. King Saul failed at that. We have to be honest with ourselves first.