“I am the way, the truth, and the life”

In today’s passage Jesus tells His disciples that His Father’s house has many rooms & that He has gone to prepare a place for them. Naturally, my favorite disciple, Doubting Thomas, has many questions. I imagine he would want to call the 1-800 number to learn a bit more about heaven. Here is how I think it might go:

Good morning!  Thanks for calling the Holy Day Inn–God’s Innkeeper.¹ This is Mary Ott. How can I help you? Well hello, Thomas. I’d be happy to answer your questions.

Yes, I understand your frustration. Our brochure describing our resort is rather scarce on the details. Well, you see, Jesus’ mission wasn’t to tell everyone about heaven. Rather His mission was to help people understand that God wants to create the Kingdom of God on earth like it is in heaven. So Jesus wants everyone to focus on the here & now–not the hereafter. As our friend John Wesley noted, with such limited time on earth, each of us should try to do all the good we can, in all the ways we can, in all the places we can, at all the times we can, to all the people we can, as long as we can. ²

What’s that? You like our brochure’s picture of the vintage sign, advertising that we have Air Conditioning & Ice Machines? Well, a marketing consultant suggested this would be a good way to differentiate us from the competition – if you get my drift.

You’re a tad skeptical about whether we’ll have enough rooms? You needn’t worry. After His Mom gave birth in a feeding trough in Bethlehem because there was no room in the Inn, you can count on Jesus to make sure there are plenty of rooms for you.

No. You don’t need a reservation. God opted against giving out reservations, because some would think there is a maximum occupancy or some folks would get the impression that they are pre-destined to stay here, which would weaken their faith walk. Also, God didn’t want to discount the power & beauty of repentance as people change the course of their lives. Just between us, God gets quite giddy each time one of His children chooses to come back home.

Hang on Thomas; I have a guest at the desk. What’s that, Howard? There’s no water in the pool? Again? Oh, that Moses! ³ I’ll make sure it is corrected, Mr. Johnson.

I’m back, Thomas. No. You won’t need any luggage. We don’t even have any bellhops. As the old saying goes, you can’t take it with you. Oh, we did have one wealthy gentleman who brought several roller bags full of gold. He was quite befuddled when we said we would use it to pave the pathway to the gazebo. ⁴

Oh yes, we do have lots of ballrooms. You won’t believe how many family reunions we host each day. It really gets out of hand sometimes when the karaoke machine starts cranking, “We are Family!” What’d you think? We just sat around strumming harps all day?

Augh. Thomas, please hold. What’s that, Peter? You’ve lost your keys to the Pearly Gates, again? Where in heaven do you think you left them this time? ⁵

I’m back. You’d like a room on the ground floor? No problem. There is no differentiation. All our rooms are on the same level with a fantastic garden view. Adam & Eve have really made it into a paradise. By the way, you’re like the 12^th person to ask if we had a stairway to heaven. It’s crazy where these ideas come from.

No, we don’t have a shuttle bus. We do have a chariot steered by our driver, Elijah. We joke that the way he drives, he’s our best salesperson–he’s scared the “heck” out of more people than anyone. ⁶

One sec, Thomas. Yes, Ma’am? John the Baptist keeps asking if he can dunk you in the pool? Sigh. Yes, I’ll talk to him. ⁷

Ok–I’m back. Right, we do have unlimited Wi-Fi. The password is: JESUSISMYSAVIOR!. Oh, and for obvious reasons Apple products are discouraged.

So, how do you get a room here? It’s not that complicated. You arrive at the concierge desk & are greeted by Jesus. If you haven’t already had the opportunity to receive Jesus⁸ you can accept His offer, then Jesus escorts you to the front desk, & we get you all checked in. Thanks to Jesus, there is nothing to fear.

You are very welcome, Thomas. And Thomas? One last thing: We’ll leave the light on for you. ⁹ No doubt about it.

¹ This is a paraphrase of Holiday Inn & their original slogan, “The Nation’s Innkeeper.”
² www.goodreads.com/quotes
³ Moses WAS good at parting the waters.  (Exodus 14:21-22)
⁴ Heaven’s streets are described (though perhaps symbolically) as being paved with gold. (Revelation 21:21)
⁵ The gates are described as being made of pearl (Revelation 21:21) & Peter is given the keys. (Matthew 16:18-19)
⁶ Elijah was last seen being taken to heaven in a chariot. (2 Kings 2:11)
⁷ John would be in the habit of dunking/baptizing people.  (Matthew 3:4-6)
⁸ We can become a believer by confessing Jesus as your Lord. (Romans 10:9)
⁹ This was the 1996 advertising slogan for Motel 6.