Integrity Unshaken because God was with Him

I have always been fascinated by how God wires each of us. I have taken almost all of the personality profile assessments you can–some more helpful than others–and one theme keeps coming back. In one of my all-time favorite movies, The Princess Bride, Count Rugen told Inigo “You’ve got an overdeveloped sense of vengeance. It’s going to get you into trouble.” But my overdeveloped trait isn’t vengeance–its justice. And it has definitely gotten me in trouble.

When I was in college (many, many years ago) I was a student athlete playing volleyball on a full ride scholarship. My freshman year was a huge success winning me Freshman Player of the Year for my conference. My coaches loved me, and I was sure it was only going to get better from there. Enter my sophomore year and my younger sister joined our team. I had convinced her to come play with me. After all I was having such a good time, I was sure she would too. Only that’s not what happened.

In the glow of my personal success, I had turned a blind eye to some of the less savory practices of my head coach. He tended to single out one or two athletes and ride them unmercifully. It went beyond pushing them to get better. It was personal attacks and belittling. But it wasn’t happening to me so I ignored it and when my sister joined the team, I couldn’t conceive that she would be singled out. I was wrong.

It started with little things that could have been seen as him pushing her to get better. After all she was a much more talented athlete than me and was maybe a little cocky coming in. The little things started to become bigger things though. Extra drills that were clearly unfair. Yelling at her with his face an inch from hers until the spittle was flying. And finally, when he put his hands on her to pull her back to him when she started to walk off. And she wasn’t the only one. There were others.

I remember agonizing over what to do. My sense of justice demanded that I do something. I poured out my thoughts to God until one day, encouraged by my small group leader, I decided to listen. And there it was. That small voice telling me that I already knew what I needed to do. I had just lacked the courage to do it.

When I walked into the Athletic Director’s office to make a report, I was sure I knew how it would go. In my naivety I was sure the coach would at the very least be reprimanded if not fired, that my teammates would join me in my complaint, and that in the end I would go back to playing volleyball and winning games. None of that happened. The Athletic Director sided with the coach. My teammates were too scared of losing their scholarships to speak out. I did the right thing, but the results were less than ideal. In the end, I was pushed off the team.

I wonder if Joseph felt this way. He did all that God had required of him and God blessed his efforts. I’m not saying he was Freshman of the Year, but he seemed to be doing okay. Until he wasn’t. How many of us have been in similar situations? It can leave us feeling frustrated at best and questioning everything at worst.

And that would be a terrible ending if that was the end. But as Pastor Adam often says, “God wrings good from evil.” He did for Joseph. God used Joseph to save an entire nation. And He did for me too. Well, not saving an entire nation, but he redeemed my story too. I got to play my senior year with a team that I loved for a coach who knew how to encourage and care for her athletes. I got to end on a high note.

In this life it doesn’t always end with a pretty bow wrapped on top but there is always some good that comes from doing the right thing even if it’s only in my own soul. And having gotten myself into trouble more than once, I can claim another of Pastor Adam’s often repeated sayings. “The worst thing is never the last thing.” I pray that you will find the courage to do the next right thing even in the face of uncertainty and that you will find yourself in the wild possibilities of God’s grace and blessing.