The Ransom Price: Jesus' self-giving leadership

James and John were known as the Sons of Thunder in the gospels, and their thunder is booming LOUDLY in this passage. It is easy to look back and wonder what they were thinking asking this of Jesus. Still, if I am honest, I see myself in this story. I have a strong passionate personality, and I am quick to jump in and take charge of any situation that I care about. This has often served me very well as a leader, as a student, and as a wife and mom, but many times it has ended up with me jumping in without humility and causing me to either take on too much and be in over my head, or cause harm to others that I probably meant to help. One of my very favorite phrases in life is something I learned here on staff at Resurrection–“intent vs. impact.” It’s a very real thing. There have been times I have charged in like a raging storm, brazenly expecting certain things from God or from others and in doing so, I missed the point of what I was trying to do in the first place.

Years ago, I managed a group home for adults with disabilities with my husband. Both of us had basically no management experience at the time, but we were well suited for the non-management parts of the job and we both are passionate about serving others. We thought that we could handle it. No problem, right? A big piece of our job was managing the staff that worked at the home overnight and on our days off. When we started, we were fully staffed with people that had been there for quite a while. We got along well at first, but as we learned the job and started working with them, we began to see all of the little things that they were doing wrong. There were no serious issues or care concerns, but little things that could have been better or more efficient. I would watch them on the cameras and judge every little thing they did, every time they checked their phone, every time they would spend “too long in the bathroom.” My anger felt justified because they were supposed to be engaging with the people who lived in the home, and they were giving it a C- effort. So, in my infinite wisdom, I decided to go in guns blazing with a list of all the things the staff needed to fix. You can imagine how that went. The staff did not take it well, and rather than being understanding and trying to listen, I argued back to them. After all, I was right, I had the individuals’ best interests at heart, and I was the boss–they had to listen to me. Well, they just walked out instead. We lost both staff over the next couple of weeks and entered into one of the hardest stretches of workdays we have ever had. Nothing will teach you to approach managing others with humility more than working 40 twelve-hour days in a row. In that time, I also learned that many of the things that our staff complained about had merit, and the little things they did wrong could have easily been corrected with patience and teaching rather than aggressive micro-management.

Just like James and John in the story, I thought that I could handle it and that I was right. But without humility I ended up burning my team to the ground. Thanks to God’s grace I learned a lot from that experience, and I approach running a team very differently now. I have a deep appreciation for anyone that I am “in charge” of. God wants us to approach any position of authority with great humility and a servant’s heart. The greatest leaders are the ones that do everything to serve their team well! After all that is what Jesus did for us, even laying down his own life for us. I pray that God will keep me humble, as he often needs to, that I can serve others well, and by God’s grace that when I am called to lead that I will lead with a servant’s heart.