An Unlikely Friendship Changed History's Sacred Story

I remember the first time I was teased at school like yesterday. Fifth grade—a few girls and boys in my class made fun of my hair and my clothes. It was the first time I felt less than, like I didn’t belong, not good enough, not pretty enough.

We didn’t have a lot of money. My mom, a home economics teacher, made many of my clothes. They weren’t ugly or frayed, but they weren’t the name-brand clothing some of my classmates’ families could afford. What hurt most wasn’t the teasing itself. I couldn’t understand why the other kids couldn’t like me for me, why they had to base their feelings about me on how I looked or what I lacked. Through junior high and high school, I noticed that even some adults—teachers I was supposed to trust—looked down on me the same way. The only difference was that in those later years, I wasn’t alone. There were others like me, and we became friends in our shared situation.

I remember thinking: if they only took the time to get to know me, they would see I’m not all that different. I liked the same movies and music. I was as smart, I was talented, I was kind. They disliked me based on something I couldn’t control, based on prejudice that was never supposed to be a factor.

When Fear Creates Distance

Today, I see how easily we can slip into the same patterns I experienced as a child. Out of fear and insecurity, we sometimes keep at a distance those who look different, come from different backgrounds, or hold different beliefs. We create invisible barriers based on race, socio-economic status, religion, gender, and sexual orientation, often without even realizing we’re doing it.

This cycle of division has historically repeated itself, with fear and prejudice warring against our deeper desire to love and embrace one another. When we let fear shape our relationships, we miss the profound connections that could transform us.

Everyone has a story. God, who loves all people more than we could ever understand, has made everyone unique and wonderful. The very differences that may make us uncomfortable at first are often gateways to the most meaningful connections, if we only take the time to listen. When we take the time to really know someone—to listen to their story, to see past surface differences—what we thought were barriers often become the very things that bring us together into beautiful friendships that transform us.

The Gift of Being Truly Known

For most of my early life, I took friendship for granted. Only in my late twenties, when I moved to a city where I barely knew anyone, did I begin to understand friendship differently. I had to be intentional—joining community theater, finding a new church, awkwardly introducing myself to strangers. My second major move to Kansas City in my mid-to-late forties, knowing not a single soul, completely transformed my understanding of friendship’s value. Something profound happens when you must start over in human connection. Every conversation becomes intentional. Every invitation matters.

My friends have helped me grow in faith during seasons when I questioned everything. They’ve carried me through grief when I couldn’t carry myself. They’ve taught me how to love more deeply and helped me become braver than I thought possible.

But lately, I’ve been thinking about the other side of the equation. What impact have I had on others? What sort of legacy am I leaving in someone’s life and heart?

The Mutual Gift of Transformation

This is where the beauty of friendship becomes clear. It isn’t just about what we receive, but what we give. Every time we choose to really listen to a friend’s struggle, celebrate their joy, or show up when they need us most, we become part of their story. We become part of who they are.

Those childhood experiences of feeling different, of being judged for things beyond my control, have made me more sensitive to others who may feel like outsiders. They’ve taught me to look beyond surface differences and extend the kind of acceptance I longed for as a child.

As I’ve learned to treasure friendship rather than take it for granted, I’ve also learned to be more intentional about how I love. I write the text message. I make the phone call. I show up, even when it’s inconvenient.

The childhood wounds taught me that everyone carries stories of hurt and hope we may never see. Everyone has felt excluded, different, or not enough at some point. Scripture reminds us in Philippians 2:3-4 to “do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” When we remember this, we become gentler with one another—quicker to include rather than exclude, to build up rather than tear down.

Changed for Good

God places people in our paths for reasons we may never fully understand. Some friendships are brief but profound. Others span decades, growing deeper with time. God can use all of them to change us, help us grow, and teach us to love more deeply.

Today, whether you’re surrounded by lifelong friends or feeling isolated in a new season, know this: every person who has touched your life with genuine care has changed you for good. And you have the power to be that transforming presence for someone else.

Perhaps you remember what it felt like to be on the outside looking in. If so, you carry within you a special gift—the ability to see and welcome others who might feel the same way. You know the healing power of acceptance, of being known and loved for who you truly are.

My hope is that you may recognize the precious gift of friendship in your life. May you see how God has used the people he’s placed in your path to shape you, grow you, love you through both joys and sorrows. And may you find the courage to show up authentically for others, knowing that through your presence, your care, your willingness to listen and love, God is at work in ways you may never fully see. May you treasure these relationships as the gifts they truly are, and may you trust that in the mystery of friendship, you have been changed for good.