God's “DNA” Changes Our Life Direction

Be honest: how many of you have gotten a dessert because you had a salad or worked out earlier that day? I know I have. When I do something good, I often give myself an excuse to do something bad as a reward. If someone asks me if I’m healthy, I don’t think of the dessert; I think of the salad. Or sometimes, when I have a rough day, I don’t care that the dessert is bad for me—I deserve the dessert because I had a bad day. Sometimes, I don’t need any justification, and I eat two desserts—or an entire pie, but that was just that one time.

(My wife Janelle will laugh when she reads this, because she knows the special love I have for dessert. I have made trips to the grocery store at midnight because we were out of cookies.)

Social psychology studies have found similar behaviors. We don’t like cognitive dissonance, so we selectively look at our actions to consider ourselves good people. Study participants who took a multivitamin were more likely to choose a sugary drink later, even if the multivitamin was just a placebo. This type of belief can lead to some pretty dark places if left unchecked. Social Identity Theory and Social Dominance Theory study the link between our exceptional beliefs and outgroups, leading to discrimination and targeted hate in an effort to make ourselves feel better. It can lead us to believe that everything in the world is good; therefore, victims of injustice and inequality have done something to deserve it (Just-World Fallacy).

When we think of sin, we tend to think of the big things that “sinners” do—things that we would never do because we’re not sinners. Didn’t ram into the car in front of me in traffic in a fit of rage? Good job—I’m not a sinner! Didn’t commit a hate crime? Good job—I have no implicit bias and nothing I need to work on! What about if I don’t “hate” someone different from me, but I’m so outwardly “concerned” that they pick up on my passive aggression and know to stay away from me? You get the point.

Sometimes we think of sins in much the same way as we consider that dessert. I’ve been good, so I can be a little bad—I’ve been loving, so I can be a little hateful because I’m still a good person overall. I’m allowed to be a little hateful because I’ve had a bad day. Sometimes I don’t need a reason, and I’m hateful, because what harm could a small little bit of hate do? We don’t “hate”—at least, not like the “sinners” do—but we’re sure not loving in those moments.

Hate is a strong word, but love is a high standard. Sometimes our actions get lost in between. We don’t keep a ledger of salads and desserts and try to get the whole thing to balance out; similarly, we have to look at the loving and unloving things we do as individual actions. It’s hard when an unloving or hateful thing we do threatens our perception of ourselves as the good guys—cognitive dissonance is difficult to maintain—but striving to love even when we feel justified to show hate is something we all need to be doing.