Naming What Has a Hold on You
Daily Scripture
Romans 7:15-20
15 I don’t know what I’m doing, because I don’t do what I want to do. Instead, I do the thing that I hate. 16 But if I’m doing the thing that I don’t want to do, I’m agreeing that the Law is right. 17 But now I’m not the one doing it anymore. Instead, it’s sin that lives in me. 18 I know that good doesn’t live in me—that is, in my body. The desire to do good is inside of me, but I can’t do it. 19 I don’t do the good that I want to do, but I do the evil that I don’t want to do. 20 But if I do the very thing that I don’t want to do, then I’m not the one doing it anymore. Instead, it is sin that lives in me that is doing it.
Daily Reflection & Prayer
There’s a particular kind of frustration that comes from doing the exact thing you told yourself you wouldn’t do. You told yourself you wouldn’t have another bite, and you took one anyway. You know the argument you shouldn’t start, and you start it anyway. You know you should put the phone down and be present with the people in front of you, and somehow, it’s back in your hand minutes later. The apostle Paul knew this feeling well enough to say, “ I don’t do the good that I want to do, but I do the evil that I don’t want to do.” That’s not a confession from someone far from God. After all the time spent with God, Paul still describes a battle going on inside him. Paul’s honesty matters because it pushes back on the myth that a lot of us believe, that if our faith were strong enough, we wouldn’t struggle with things that hold us captive or exert too much influence over our lives. Being a Chrisitan doesn’t mean we have an easy escape from life’s battles. It starts with being honest enough to name what has a hold on you.
- What habit, attitude, or pattern do I keep returning to, even though I genuinely want to change? Where have I mistaken my ongoing struggle as a sign of weak faith instead of an opportunity to depend more deeply on God’s grace? Is there something I’m avoiding bringing honestly before God out of fear of what it says about me?
- What is one practical step I can take today—through prayer, accountability, or a new habit—to loosen the grip over anything that has too much influence over my life?
Prayer
God, I know the gap between who I am and who I want to become. Give me the courage to honestly name what has me trapped, and the strength to take one honest step toward change. Amen.
GPS Insights
Matt Williams
Matt Williams serves as the Director of Marketing and Digital Media at Resurrection.
I read Romans 7 this morning and felt something click. Paul isn’t writing from a distance here. He’s not looking back on his pre-Jesus life and shaking his head. He’s in it. “I do the very thing I hate.” That’s a guy who has spent years walking with God still describing a war inside himself.
I know that war. Mine shows up around 8:30pm most nights. I’ve made the decision. Kitchen’s closed. I know exactly what I’m working toward and exactly why it matters. And then I’m standing in front of the pantry anyway, not even hungry, just reaching.
Here’s what I used to think that meant. I used to think it meant my faith wasn’t strong enough, or my discipline wasn’t real, or that if I just wanted it more I wouldn’t be standing there. That’s the myth Paul is dismantling in this passage. He’s not writing this as a guy who hasn’t figured it out yet. He’s writing it as a mature believer who’s still honest about the gap between who he is and who he wants to be.
So the question isn’t “why do I still struggle.” Everybody still struggles. The question is what I do with the struggle once I see it clearly.
For me, that means naming the thing instead of managing around it. It’s easy to build systems (I’ve built plenty) and still avoid the actual honest conversation with myself about why I’m reaching for something at 8:30 that has nothing to do with hunger. A hard kitchen close is a good practice. But it’s not the same as sitting with the question of what I’m actually avoiding when I go looking for it.
That’s the piece I want to sit with today. Not “what’s my plan” but “what am I actually running from when the plan breaks down.” Paul’s answer wasn’t more willpower. It was more honesty, followed by more dependence. He names the sin living in him instead of pretending it’s not there, and that naming is what opens the door to grace doing something he couldn’t do on his own.
I don’t think the goal today is to win the battle. I think the goal is just to stop pretending there isn’t one. Struggle isn’t proof I’m failing. It might be the exact place where I actually need God to show up, instead of the place I’m supposed to have already figured out on my own.
God, you already know the gap. I don’t have to hide it from you. Give me the courage to name what has a hold on me tonight, before it has the chance to sneak past me again.
