Sinking, and Caught Anyway
Daily Scripture
Matthew 14:22-33
Right then, Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go ahead to the other side of the lake while he dismissed the crowds. When he sent them away, he went up onto a mountain by himself to pray. Evening came and he was alone. Meanwhile, the boat, fighting a strong headwind, was being battered by the waves and was already far away from land. Very early in the morning he came to his disciples, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified and said, “It’s a ghost!” They were so frightened they screamed. Just then Jesus spoke to them, “Be encouraged! It’s me. Don’t be afraid.” Peter replied, “Lord, if it’s you, order me to come to you on the water.” And Jesus said, “Come.” Then Peter got out of the boat and was walking on the water toward Jesus. But when Peter saw the strong wind, he became frightened. As he began to sink, he shouted, “Lord, rescue me!” Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him, saying, “You man of weak faith! Why did you begin to have doubts?” When they got into the boat, the wind settled down. Then those in the boat worshipped Jesus and said, “You must be God’s Son!”
Daily Reflection & Prayer
The disciples spent the night rowing against a headwind, far from shore and without Jesus, who had gone up the mountain alone to pray after feeding the crowd. When Jesus finally came toward them, walking across the water in the dark, their first reaction wasn’t relief. It was terror. They thought he was a ghost. Only after Jesus identified himself did Peter ask for something bold. He wanted to be told to come out onto the water himself. Jesus said one word, come, and Peter went. He was walking on the water until he noticed the wind, and then he wasn’t.
Jesus doesn’t wait to see whether Peter can pull himself together before he helps him. The moment Peter cries out, Jesus reaches out and grabs him, and only then does he ask why Peter doubted. William Barclay, writing about Peter’s character in this story, said that whatever his failures, Peter “clutched at Christ” in the moment things fell apart, and that this instinct mattered more than the fact that he’d started sinking in the first place.* The rescue comes before the conversation about what went wrong. Jesus doesn’t require Peter to already trust perfectly. He just requires Peter to reach for him, even while he’s sinking and scared. Wesleyan theology even has a name for it. Prevenient grace is the grace of God’s love that reaches for us before we’re ready to receive it well, let alone before we’ve earned it.
Most of us carry around a version of faith we wish we had, one that’s steady, certain, never rattled by the wind. What we actually have some days is Peter’s faith, the kind that gets out of the boat and then panics halfway there. That gap isn’t disqualifying. Jesus didn’t leave Peter in the water until his faith improved. He caught him first, in the middle of the doubt, not after it was resolved.
- Think of a step of faith you took recently, something you felt God calling you toward, where your courage gave out partway through. What made you notice the wind instead of Jesus? What would it look like to cry out instead of quietly trying to swim back to the boat on your own?
- Jesus rescues Peter before he says a word about his doubt. Is there an area of your life where you’ve been waiting to feel more confident in God before you ask for his help? What might change if you asked now, in the middle of the doubt, instead of waiting until you feel ready?
Prayer
Lord Jesus, thank you for reaching for me before I have my faith figured out. Forgive me for the times I’ve stayed quiet in my sinking instead of crying out to you. Give me Peter’s courage to get out of the boat, and Peter’s honesty to call for help the moment I start to doubt. Catch me first and teach me as you go. Amen.
GPS Insights
Bethany DePugh
Pastor Bethany DePughserves as Director of Recovery Ministries, helping people find hope and healing through addiction recovery support at all Resurrection locations. She is currently in seminary and pursuing ordination as a deacon. Most importantly, she is a woman in long-term recovery, partner to Denny, and proud mom to Henry (9), Norah (6), and Daisy the pup.
I don’t know about everyone else, but I can’t tell you what a relief it was for me to learn that the courage God asks of us doesn’t mean we’re never scared or filled with doubt. Courage is often portrayed as bravery, grit, and unwavering confidence. Sometimes it is. But I remember being taught that courage can also look like being afraid and choosing to do the next right thing anyway.
When I think about the moments I’m most proud of, every single one includes a season of fear or uncertainty. My faith. My recovery. Motherhood. My career. None of those journeys came without moments of doubt. Motherhood, especially, taught me this lesson.
I remember how consuming the desire to have children became. Trying to conceive was on my mind almost every moment of every day, something I know many couples who have walked that road can relate to. Then, after we conceived our son Henry, I remember sitting there one day with my barely curved belly when a thought hit me like lightning: “I have to give birth to this kid!” The fear and doubt that washed over me were unbelievable. I felt frozen.
What carried me through was the community God had given me. The people who had gone before me. In the recovery meetings I attend, we sometimes talk about being surrounded by “God in skin.” Through those relationships, I was able to seek the divine both within me and around me. I learned to draw from that ever-flowing source of grace. And, spoiler alert, it wasn’t perfect. But it DID unfold the way it needed to. I gave birth to my son. Scared, tired, and incredibly proud.
Today, I am blessed to be the mother of two of the most incredible kids I’ve ever met. Yes, I’m a little biased. And some days, that still scares me. There are days when big decisions need to be made, and I find myself looking around for the responsible adult in the room, only to realize, Oh, that’s us now. Sometimes my partner and I are both afraid. Sometimes we aren’t sure what the right answer is. And sometimes, in those moments, we simply laugh.
What a gift those moments are.
Those are the times when we lean into God’s grace and the love we’ve been given. Whether the day feels easy or overwhelming, I am grateful that God is present. God is there to celebrate with us when we laugh, and God is there to rush into our hearts, surround us with the Holy Spirit, and gently whisper, “I’ve got you. Each of you.“
I don’t know what you’re facing today. Maybe you’re trying to summon the courage to begin something new. Or maybe you’ve already taken the brave first step and now realize it’s time to bring that thing into the world. Whatever it is, I hope you know you’re not alone. Not in your community. Not in your struggle. And certainly not without God’s grace.
In recovery, we often say, “Progress, not perfection.” That phrase continues to be an invitation for me. An invitation to do things scared. An invitation to accept that courage doesn’t require perfection or the absence of fear. Instead, we’re called to listen for the next right thing and take the next right step. Step out into the water. Trust that, by God’s grace, you were made for such a time as this. Take a deep breath. Find your next step. That step is between you and God. And you’ve got this.
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Scripture quotations are taken from The Common English Bible ©2011. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
References
* William Barclay, Daily Study Bible Series: The Gospel of Matthew—Volume 2, Chapters 11-28 (Revised Edition). Louisville: Westminster John Knox Press, 1975.
