The Kingdom Reality: Being Forgiven and Forgiving

I have been watching Disney movies for as long as I can remember. The beauty of “family” movies is that there’s an effort to tell a story that is relatable to both the adults and children in the audience. It’s funny how perspective changes over time though. The characters you find relatable over time sometimes shift a little. Or you might relate to them not because they are cool or pretty but because of the complexities of the character.

In my family I’m the firstborn and only daughter, so trying to adhere to a list of things I should do correctly is in my nature. Get good grades, be a good example, be on autopilot, don’t cause trouble… “conceal don’t feel…” I related to Elsa in Frozen on a very deep level. The desire she had to stay locked away rather than being out in the world where you can (and will) make mistakes was something I knew and understood.

But more recently in Encanto one of the sisters who sang the words, “If I could shake the crushing weight of expectations, would that free up some room for joy?” That one got me good because sometimes I struggle with the expectations the world has of me, but also the expectations I put on myself… and being an imperfect human doesn’t always allow me to measure up to either type of expectations. I got a B in a course I was taking a few weeks ago and I had an existential crisis and a near good-old-fashioned come apart all at the same time!

For me, whether it was something trivial like grades or a monumental wrong, I always wrestle with not quite measuring up. I grew up in church, so I know the concepts of grace, mercy, and making allowances for each other’s faults is central to the Gospel. I know it in theory and can practice it on plenty of other people while struggling to put it into practice for myself. Growing up I felt that the part in The Lord’s Prayer that says, “forgive us our sins, as we forgive those that sin against us,” was transactional. I would think, oh I had better forgive that person or God won’t forgive me the next time I sin or do something wrong. It was a part of the list of things I needed to adhere to in my efforts to be “good enough.”

But as I wrestle with grace, mercy, and my own faults, I continue to realize, that part of the prayer isn’t meant to perceived as a threat on me and my behavior, but an opportunity. It’s an opportunity to understand that God’s forgiveness, that beautiful gift, is meant to be shared. It’s one of the ways we participate in bringing the Kingdom of heaven here to earth and allow God’s will to be done. It’s done by practicing the same forgiveness God shows each of us. And the more I can accept God’s forgiveness in my life, the more capacity I have to forgive others… and the more capacity I have to forgive others, the more capacity I have to live in freedom from perfectionism. If I can be forgiven for the actual wrongdoing I’ve done, then surely there is also room to be free from the prison of the need and pursuit of perfection.

Being forgiven and forgiving others is a practice that emphasizes and reinforces the Love God has for us. It’s a practice that reminds us of our own imperfections and makes room for other people and their imperfections as well. It’s not an easy practice, and sometimes it must be accompanied by healthy boundaries, seeking help, and pursuing healing. But at the end of the day, it’s a practice that allows us to remember how much God loves us each time we forgive someone and each time we forgive ourselves. It’s a practice that teaches that perfection isn’t the goal, but that passing love along is always the goal.

Today, may you remember that Christ offers us forgiveness, that we have an opportunity to practice forgiveness because of Christ, and may we all experience the freedom that practice brings!