What Paul Meant by One Mind
Daily Scripture
Philippians 4:1-3
Therefore, my brothers and sisters whom I love and miss, who are my joy and crown, stand firm in the Lord. Loved ones, I urge Euodia and I urge Syntyche to come to an agreement in the Lord. Yes, and I’m also asking you, loyal friend, to help these women who have struggled together with me in the ministry of the gospel, along with Clement and the rest of my coworkers whose names are in the scroll of life.
Daily Reflection & Prayer
Paul asks Euodia and Syntyche to agree with each other in the Lord. The word he uses is phroneó. It does not mean thinking the same thoughts. It means holding the same purpose. Paul had used that word once already, earlier in the letter, when he asked the whole church to hold one phroneó together. Now he asks two people, by name, to do the same thing.
Euodia and Syntyche were not strangers to Paul. He called them his coworkers, women who had struggled at his side for the gospel. He urged Euodia. He urged Syntyche. Same word, same breath. He did not scold one or side with the other. Then he turned to someone else in the church and asked for help.
Paul had used phroneó once before for something specific. In chapter two, it describes Christ, who gave up his status and became a servant. Paul was not asking Euodia and Syntyche to settle every detail of whatever had come between them. He was asking them to hold the same purpose Christ held, a purpose two people can share even when they see things differently.
Paul does not tell us who was right. He tells Euodia and Syntyche to hold one purpose, and he brings someone else in to help them do it. That is the whole model. Unity was never a task those two women were left to handle alone, and it is not ours to handle alone either.
- Paul refused to take sides between Euodia and Syntyche and asked someone else to help them find shared purpose instead of identical opinions. Is there a disagreement in your life right now where you’ve quietly picked a side instead of seeking that shared purpose with the other person?
- Paul didn’t ask Euodia and Syntyche to work things out alone. Who is one person who could help you hold unity with someone else, instead of managing that relationship entirely on your own?
Prayer
Lord, thank you for calling me toward shared purpose instead of leaving me to manage every disagreement on my own. Forgive me for quietly taking a side instead of seeking that same purpose with someone I love. Give me the humility to ask for help holding what I can’t hold by myself, the way Euodia and Syntyche were given help holding theirs. Shape my heart toward the mind of Christ, even when agreement is slow to come. Amen.
GPS Insights
Bethany DePugh
Pastor Bethany DePugh serves as Director of Recovery Ministries, helping people find hope and healing through addiction recovery support at all Resurrection locations. She is currently in seminary and pursuing ordination as a deacon. Most importantly, she is a woman in long-term recovery, partner to Denny, and proud mom to Henry (9), Norah (6), and Daisy the pup.
There is a saying that goes, “Do you want to be happy? Or do you want to right?”
Here lately, this has been extremely helpful in almost all the roles I live into; as a mother, friend, a partner, a pastor. And the list goes on and on. Disagreements are part of every relationship, including healthy ones. The point Paul is making is that we do this with love.
There are times when I heed that saying, and it goes much more smoothly. I pause when agitated, and I ask myself, “How important is it?” Sometimes I can honestly say, not today. This, of course, means there is no need for an apology and much more peace in my world. And on the other occasions, when it still remains important, I have hopefully paused so I had a much better chance than if I were simply reacting.
Then there are the times I fall short and go full steam ahead! This is where repair is now needed. I find this when I’m too Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. We call this HALT; you’ll hear this in many recovery halls. I also know it’s especially easy to do over two types of arguments that I get into. The first is when the stakes feel really high, especially when it comes to the people closest to me. And if I’m honest, the second most activating for me is any form of virtual argument: text, chat, posts, etc. When there isn’t a face I can readily look into or put to the comment, and I am activated, it’s nearly impossible to see the humanity on the other side of that comment.
Another phrase that helps me in even these most fiery disagreements and has become quite popular is “Let them. Let me.” Let them think or do or see things that way, let me mind my side of things. That’s what I have control over. Let them believe that or say that even though it is hurtful. Even if it is (for this Enneagram 1 the “worst thing of all”) ACTUALLY wrong and I just have to let it go?! A pause helps me then decide what my job is, whether it is to speak, listen, apologize, set a boundary, or simply let it go. Cue song…
I appreciate so much that when Paul asks these two to have “one mind,” it is not to be lemmings of some sort, discarding who or what they define themselves to be. Being of one mind isn’t necessarily about having the same opinion. It’s about having the same posture towards one another. What if being “of one mind” means we don’t talk, text, or type until we have taken a breath? What if it means seeing everyone has motivations and experiences different from mine, and that’s not bad? That it may, in fact, be great and a chance for me to choose humility as God asks us to?
I also know I’m going to fall short. Not as a free pass, but due to the fact I’m a human, and so this is trying my best and repairing if I fall short. And the best part is that sometimes, when I am open enough to be teachable, I find that, in my humility, I have a ton to learn from this person. Even if that person is my partner. Even if Denny IS right! And how much better it is to laugh it off in this fashion, and rather than create distance, we have a stronger bond than before!
And maybe that is part of what Paul is inviting us into: not a life where everyone thinks alike, but a life where we live to love one another as God intended. A life where we can disagree without dehumanizing one another. A life where humility makes room for curiosity, and where our desire to be right doesn’t become more important than our call to love our neighbor as ourselves.
